Road Trip!
by PoisonXLilly
Summary: Mello decides to take a road trip to the Hershey's Chocolate Factory. Let the fun begin!
1. No!

Mello was bored. So was Matt.

The blonde had run out of chocolate within reach. Matt had played every single video game he owned within mere hours, and he had _**quite a lot**_.

Mello looked at Matt and sighed. The chocoholic had even run out of ideas to torture Near. How pathetic did _that_ make him?

Finally, deciding that he could no longer stand this boredom, he stood up dramatically, surprising Matt.

"Let's go somewhere!" Mello announced in a dramatic voice. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a chocolate bar and ripped the wrappings off and threw them on the floor, adding to the Sea of Chocolate Wrappers.

"What are you-" Matt was about to ask the blonde, but Mello shook his head and waved the chocolate bar in an even more dramatic way.

Matt frowned. "Mello, what are you-" he began to ask again, but Mello shook his head again, and started jumping around.

Matt rolled his eyes and assumed he was on a sugar high.

Mello sighed. "Chocolate! Let's go to the chocolate factory!"

Matt stared at Mello with a 'you're joking, right? face and replied, "Mello, Jonny Depp **is not** the Chocolitier and I am **not** taking you to the Chocolate Factory to battle till death with him so you can rein that title."

Mello stared at the redhead, and sly smile on his face. "You stay up way too late at night, you know that? Listening to my dreams…"

Matt chuckled and Mello went on, "No, I want to go to Pennsylvania. You know, _that_ chocolate place!" The blonde got real excited at even thinking about it and a dreamy look was placed on his face.

"You mean Hershey's?"

"Yes, dammit!"

"But were in Japan, dunce! How are we going to…?" The redhead's face suddenly grew to a mix of shock and horror. "No! No, no, no! We are _**so not**_ doing that!"

Mello laughed an evil laugh, his eyes turning red and Matt could swear he saw horns and a devil's tail poke out. (A/N: Mello's Kira!)

"And what's my part in this horribly put together scheme of yours, Mello?" The albino asked, curling his white hair with his pale fingers.

Mello chuckled evilly. "You're going to taste the heavenly and divine taste of chocolate, the reason why we live, the reason why we fight till the bitter end, the-"

"Alright, Mello we get the point. Chocolate is great, yada yada," Matt rolled his eyes at the now drooling chocoholic and turned toward Near. "Listen, it's a pain for us all. If we leave Japan dressed like this and each acting like ourselves, L will find out and think we dropped out of the Kira case. We can't have that. And if we leave Mello's chocolate behind while airborne, who knows what havoc will be brought upon those poor unfortunate souls who are also sharing the same flight." Matt finished with all seriousness.

Ever wonder how Mello _really_ got that scar? _That's_ the real story, and Near knew only too well. He even shuddered, which was a lot of emotion for the poor albino.

He would agree, but they would also have some _other_ stops on the way. A toy factory? Yes. An American one, no less. Toys even Near didn't know about! American toys! But he would avoid the 'Tickle Me Elmo'. Boy, did that cause a lot of noise and was too much emotion for the poor albino. (A/N: DX)

Mello giggled with much glee. A little too much glee. A glee that sounded a lot like a chocoholic blonde with too much schemes going on in his little blonde and scarred head.

"Pack your bags boys, were heading the United States…In America! Near, drop those toys and get ready to taste the divine taste of chocolate! Matt, drop the game pads and get ready to be my husband! As for me, I need to steal some bras from Misa and stuff 'em with socks…"

Yes, Mello would be dressing as a woman, who would be 'married' to 'her husband' Matt, or as he would be called once they got in the airport,_ Daniel_. But it was all worth it when he got to eat the chocolate once they boarded the plane.

It would all make sense when they got there, trust me.

Near sighed. Oh joy. A road trip with Mello the obsessed chocoholic and a gamer-obsessed Matt. What fun! Near could hardly suppress his sarcastic joy, but it's wasn't that hard. He had no emotion, remember?


	2. There's a Freaking Pizza Hut!

Matt, Near, and Mello walked into the Japanese airport.

Matt was dressed in a fancy tuxedo, nervously adjusting the tie, even though it was already as straight and perfect as a tie could possibly be on the obsessed gamer's body. His goggles were nowhere in sight, hidden in his briefcase he carried around. His red hair, his trademark, now gone, dyed blonde! Blonde! He hoped Mello would never taunt him with this ever, but he knew, with dread, that there would be many a taunt along the way.

Near was wearing a fake black wig, an emo and very gothic-looking shirt and black ripped pants with matching fingernail polish. They had to stay clear from mirrors and any reflective surface, for if Near saw his reflection, he would surely have a heart attack and die on the spot. His outfit was truly a sight for anyone, even for Matt and Mello, who thought they did quite a horrifyingly good job. Too good a job, and the poor albino could only shut is eyes and picture himself playing in his room, dressed normally and playing with his dice and Tarot card decks. It was the only thing that calmed him as he bit into Mello's chocolate while Mello glared at him, thinking _'That's my chocolate, you bastard!'._

Mello, on the other hand, had donned a fake brown wig and bright red cherry lipstick. Matt casually glanced over at him and had a very hard time suppressing a loud burst of laughter. It was all he could do to hold it in. He knew that if Mello taunted him with his dyed hair, he had the lipstick as a secret weapon. The lipstick! Haha! Mello's once flat and smooth chest now had a very itchy and lacy bra -stuffed with socks- on him. Stupid Misa! Now he knew why she acted so weird. It was like having a stick shoved up your-

"Mello, okay, I'm sorry, but those cloths **do not** match." Matt said, interrupting Mello's thoughts.

Mello looked down. What was wrong with the hot pink shirt and jeans with flower prints on them? He actually liked it. He would have worn a skirt to feel a nice breeze, but Matt had told him plain out **NO** and Mello had reluctantly sighed and picked up the flowery pants. It might have been because he was used to cosplaying those ridiculous anime outfits with Matt in the past that he actually felt good in his current state.

"I don't think there is _anything_ wrong with this outfit, _Daniel_." Mello replied simply, a sly grin on his face as he used Matt's fake alias.

Matt sighed and off they went, toward the boarding entrance. They had purchased their tickets online, with the help of Matt and his 'l33t h4x0r 5killz' as he called it. Now they just needed to go through the hour-long security check and they'd be off heading to the United States…In America!

They got in the line that stretched into eternity, infinity, and beyond and waited…

And waited…

And waited…

And waited…

An hour and a half later, Mello realized something important. Well, it was actually two very important things. He had been thirsty a few hours before. It was summer in Japan, and it got really hot for the blonde, dressed in leather and all. He had asked Matt, or rather, uttered some swear words and forced him, to drive into the nearest gas station and get some Slurpies. Purchasing blue mixed with cherry, Mello walked out and got back into the car and Matt drove back to the main road to the airplane station. Now Mello regretted this. His bladder was full and if he didn't enter the nearest Little Mafia's Room, he would surely burst.

Another thing was also very important. He had forgotten to pack his tooth brush. Eating chocolate all day long, and even eating some for a late night snake really drove your teeth insane and got them nasty and, if the poor blonde didn't take care of them, he would get cavities like no tomorrow. He made friends with his tooth brush. He had even bought a special case for his chocolate-colored toothbrush. Now, at the airport, he could only buy the cheap plastic ones. But he had to protect his pearly whites!

Mello sighed, rolled his eyes, and let out a few swear words that made the nearby waiters-in line gasp and parents cover their children's ears.

"Dammit, Matt. I gotta take a piss and get a toothbrush! Like, now, or I'll burst, I swear I will!" The chocoholic whined like a little 5 year old who swore often.

Matt looked at Mello with a 'You got to be kidding!' look, but Mello shook his head and took off; shouting after him, "Hold my spot! I'll be back!"

Mello looked around. He didn't find it near the Mc. Donald's.

He didn't see it near the Pizza Hut. Wait, Pizza Hut? They had a _**freaking PIZZA HUT**_ in an airport?!

He didn't spot any near the-

Oh, wait! There it was! He thought with relief as he saw the men's room. Then, he stopped. Oh s**t on a stick. He was dressed up like a girl! Like he could prance in there and not be treated seriously. He'd get his ass hulled off to freaking prison or something…

So he looked around the men's room and finally spotted the ladies room. He sighed and-Oof!

The hell…?

Mello looked up and almost fainted. A lady was standing in front of him, the last one in the longest line ever for the rest room. And she must have weighed a ton. Weight Watchers, anyone?

Mello let out a great string of cuss words, ran out of them, and then spoke them in different languages and finally ending with _Merde!_, meaning 'Sh*t' in…what language again? He couldn't recall.

A half hour later and finally there was a stall open. He hastily shoved an old lady out of the way, pulled his pants down and…sighed with relief. Yes…

Washing his hands and throwing the paper towels away, he now was left with task number two, and it didn't involve going back in there and taking a crap.

He walked around for a few minutes before finding a CVS…wait, a freaking CVS? How many different stores did they have here!?

He entered and looked for the aisle with tooth brushes…tooth brushes…tooth brushes? Where were they?

Ah, there they were! Mello grabbed the fake plastic and cheap blue one off the shelf and ran to the front desk to pay for it, shoving aside a lady and her screaming child, who was yelling for some candy.

Mello got to the front desk and the lady, who looked really bored, really tired, and really irritated.

"That'll be $3.79."

Whoa! That much!? He could buy 5 chocolate bars with that money!

But, teeth in mind, and remembering the first trip to the dentists with Roger and getting a few teeth pulled and then getting a huge lecture from both Roger and L, he shoved a five dollar bill at the lady, sighing.

The lady gave him his change and the tooth brush and Mello ran out of there.

"Damn freaking CVS and its damn freaking high prices…worse than freaking Wal-Mart…" Mello muttered under his breath.

Now, finally out of the 'damn freaking' CVS, he stomped around, muttering more cuss words than anyone could think possible.

…

…

…

Where did Matt and Near go?

Oh crap.

_**A/N: Hey! I hope you like Chapter 2! I worked hard! Has anyone noticed those two little KittleKuriboh reference? Hmm…Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series ring a bell? **____** Anyway, if you have any ideas and situations to but these three into, let me know! I'm always open to ideas! Please REVIEW! **_


	3. Leather Pants!

"So, before we get on, please tell me you don't have any _business _to take care of?" Matt asked everyone, mostly directing it at Mello, who gave him the middle finger.

"Oh, Mello…" Matt sighed, lifting their bags on the belt and clearing the security scan.

Matt rolled his eyes and muttered some curse words under his breath. He walked up to the security scan and sighed as they poked and prodded him everywhere.

Suddenly, something loud rang right in his ears and he looked at the guard, who was frowning at him. "Got a bomb on you, ma'm?"

"Of course not, dumbass! Do I look like I got bombs? Seriously? What joy would I get out of blowing this crappy place up?" Mello roared at the guard, who stepped a few paces back.

"_Honey_…! What did I say about making a _**scene**_?" Matt hissed venomously at Mello, and he remembered he was still in costume. Damn it…

Another guard approached Mello and the first guard and tried calming down Mello.

"Look, settle down, I think it might just be your bra strap or something. Nothing to get worked up about over, miss. Is your band metal?" She asked.

Mello almost slapped the crap out of the woman for asking such a ridiculous question. Like he would know about bras? He just grabbed one out of Misa's, one that didn't look like it came from Lacy Bra Central. But, instead of inflicting pain on the person, he just nodded, not daring to speak, or else he would surely be in big trouble.

The guards let Mello through and they entered a large room.

This must be the waiting room, Mello thought. He glanced around to see if Matt and Near were around him, hoping he didn't lose them.

A few minutes later, he spotted Near in his disguise, the horrible gothic set. Mello and Matt would be scarred forever, but Near was doing all he could to contain his suicidal thoughts and not put them to action.

"There you are! Damn it, Mello! What the hell was that about back there, huh?" Matt grabbed Mello's arm and whispered in his ear. Mello froze. Was this Matt's full rage? It had to be. Matt never spoke to Mello like that unless he was in deep trouble.

"T-t-they asked for it!" Mello stuttered out, barley managing the words.

"Don't let it happen again!" Matt glared at him, resembling a very murderous Voldemort.

00000

They entered the plane without any problems and found their seats. Near only watched them and tried hard not to kill himself right then and there while Matt and Mello fought over the window seat. The situation was only settled when Matt said he wouldn't let Mello eat chocolate when the plane took off. Mello shut right up and sat between Matt and Near.

After awhile, they were able to change in their normal clothes and Near was finally happy. He would never look at a goth the same way again…

00000

A few hours later and a few sodas later, Mello needed to go to the bathroom again.

"Matty, I need to pee-tinkle!" The blonde whispered and shoved Near out of the way and walked through the aisle to the bathroom.

Mello knocked on the door and entered, shutting the door.

Turning around, he heard a loud RIP and froze.

"Aww, crap! Damn it…" Mello turned around and saw a thread was caught in the doorknob, which was a little too low to begin with.

"Damn it all…" Mello hissed. Now what? If he moved at all, his leather pants would be completely destroyed.

He fumbled around in his pockets and found his cell phone. Flipping it on, he speed-dialed Matt and faintly heard a few lines from "Play" by Krooked –K, Matt's ringtone.

"Yeah, what's up, Mello? Miss me?" Matt said from the cell phone.

"Shut up," Mello blushed and continued, "I-I'm stuck."

"You're…stuck? That explains so much and so little, Mells."

"Dumbass, I got my pants caught!"

"Again? Seriously, Mello? Ugh, hold on…"

"Wait! Be careful, it's caught on the doorknob!" Mello hissed into the cell phone, but Matt had already hung up.

The door opened and Mello heard another loud rip.

"Damn it, Matt! Careful!" Mello roared.

"Sorry, dang. Someone's crabby…" Matt entered the bathroom and shut the door, bursting into laughter at the sight of a hissy chocoholic. He slightly resembled a cranky lion that hadn't been fed for days and would destroy anything in its path to get some food.

"Now, let me see…" Matt leaned closer to Mello and started fumbling with the thread.

"M-Matt…" Mello blushed, the thread being located near his butt.

"Hehe…" Matt chuckled. "Get your mind outta the gutter, Mello."

The redhead sighed. The thread refused to come out.

"C'mon, thread! Get out!" Matt frowned.

"Like that's gonna work, dumbass!" Mello snapped at him, rolling his eyes, but being careful not to get Matt worked up. He would have loved to see Mello squirm in a situation like this with his leather pants in jeopardy.

Matt hummed something and continued to order the thread to move.

Suddenly, the thread came loose and Mello could move again. But he didn't move an inch.

"You little…"

"What's that, Mello? Say I couldn't do it? I have a charm, don't I? No one can resist this." Matt replied slyly.

"Sh-shut up, damn it…" Mello hissed.

"Admit it, Mello…you know you-"

"As a line, Matt. As a line!"

"Or so you say!"

"Get out, I need to pee-tinkle!" Mello shoved Matt out, blushing but refusing to show it to Matt.

00000

Mello shut the door and ran back to his seat, not wanting to waste another minute in that hell-hole.

"Back so soon, Mells? I knew you missed me…Admit it!" Matt greeted Mello, shooting him a sly grin.

"Damn it, Matt, I said shut up!" Mello roared, instantly quieting the whole plane.

A work lady came up and tapped Mello on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but please do not scream in the plane. Many workers and flight boarders could hear you in the bathroom and were complaining of the noise."

Matt chuckled quietly while Mello glared at the lady."If they say they heard me in the bathroom, did they not notice which one I was in?"

The lady paused, confused, and then suddenly caught on. "Oh, I apologies,** sir**! But please keep your voice down!"

Then, she turned to Near and asked, "Would you like anything to eat, dear child?"

Now it was Mello and Matt's turn to laugh at the unfortunate albino.

"As I have reminded you people…many times…I am a teen. Please tell that to all your workers and do not mistake me for a child." Near replied simply, but only Matt and Mello could hear the poison in it.

"But you look so young! You're positively adorable!" The lady bent down and pinched his cheeks. Near, to everyone's surprise, slapped the hand away.

Matt and Mello gasped, eyes and mouths open wide. Did they just see Near…?

"Don't touch me." Near told her simply and began pulling out a white puzzle and placed it on the plane's seat desk thing and began working on it, ignoring everyone.

The lady just stood there in a daze. Then, shaking her head, she walked slowly away and they never saw her again.

"N-Near? A-are you…okay?" Mello asked, putting aside his hatred for the albino for once.

"Don't speak to me, Mello, Matt, until we return to Wammy's. And when we get back home, Mello, you owe me so much…" Near promised and muttered something under his breath, the puzzle complete.

Mello glanced at Matt, wide-eyed with fear. "Crap…I'm gonna die for sure. No, wait. He'll keep me alive. I'll be put to the brink of pain and misery every day until he has me begging for death."

"Don't say that, Mello. I'm sure he means no harm." Matt replied, but they both know that was a lie. Near would fulfill his promise. Mello could only push aside his fear and pull out a chocolate bar while he waited for the plane to land.

But he couldn't help wondering what Near would do to him…

The horror!

00000

(A/N: Haha! I finally got my Microsoft Word to work and happily present the third chapter of Road Trip! Ah, poor guys. But mostly Mello. What does Near have in mind, I wonder…? Oh, and if you wanted to know what Matt was humming, it was "Leather Pants" by LittleKuriboh, or "CardGamesFTW" on YouTube. I thought it was fitting. This chapter also has a few Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridge Series quotes. Season 3 starts next week! [from when this was posted.] And when Mello said "As a line!" he was referring to him being straight.)


	4. As A Line!

"Attention, passengers, we are approaching our destination in sunny Florida. Please stay seated until we land, and then you may collect your belongings!"

Matt glanced up from the DS he was playing and looked over at Mello. The blonde was currently asleep, curled in a tight ball, looking rather peaceful, which was quite amusing. Mello normally looked so energized and full of emotion. The redhead saved his game and shoved it in his pocket.

"Hey, Mello, wake up," Matt nudged Mello, poking him in the side. "We're here!"

Mello blinked and looked over at Matt. The gamer's eyes were round and there were slight bags under his eyes.

"You didn't get a wink of sleep, little game addicted, did you?" Mello grunted, chuckling. He stretched, arching his back, rolled his head around and yawned.

"Nope!" Matt said, grinning foolishly. "I had to beat that boss! Do you know how hard it is to beat someone with only fire attacks when your opponent is using water? It sucks, let me tell you! Anyway, wake up, the flight attendant person said we should be arriving in Florida soon…"

"Ha, like staying up till morning beating a pixel person is any excu- Wait, what?" Mello snapped, turning toward Matt, blonde hair swaying.

Matt only looked at Mello, confused.

"Did you just say…F-Florida…?" Mello hissed, eyes narrowed and poison dripping off of his words.

"…Yeah, why…?" Matt asked, clearly confused.

"You _**baka! **_Do you have any idea where the Hershey's Chocolate Factory is?" Mello roared eyes on fire, teeth bared into fangs.

"Umm…Florida?" Matt replied, grinning sheepishly and shrugging.

"No! Dammit! Dammit all to hell! Matt…" Mello hissed, slamming his clenched fists on the armrest.

"Y-yes, Mells?" Matt answered, shrinking under Mello's wrath.

"Haven't we had this discussion before?" Mello hissed.

"Y-yes…?"

"So where is it?"

"P-Pennsylvania."

"Excellent. Now be a good little boy and go up the front and tell them we got the wrong flight. Now, Matt!" Mello yelled, shoving the redhead out of his seat and into the aisle.

Meanwhile, the fluffy albino was asleep. Or, at least, trying to. He heard the whole conversation, and now he was trying desperately hard not to strangle himself. Near hated going outside, and now he was being dragged to go to Florida, the sunniest and most painfully cheerful place ever?

Oh joy!

Near looked over at the now fuming Mello and blinked, trying to find a way to explain to him that getting tickets to change flight paths would be virtually impossible. It was summertime in Florida and it seemed that everyone flocked to Florida. Suddenly, Matt appeared, looking quite bothered. The redhead was muttering something under his breath while twiddling his fingers nervously.

Matt walked past Near (both legs were on his seat, sitting almost like L, in a way) and plopped himself on the window seat. He turned toward Mello, face red as a tomato, and spoke.

"Umm, Mello, we kinda have a, um, slight, uh, problem, I should say…yeah. The lady said, um, that, uh…We'll have to buy those 'return home' tickets, and they cost a lot more than we currently have. So, uh, um, she said…ugh, I'll just spit it out."

"Yes, please do." Mello glared at Matt, making him shrink again under his death glare, arms crossed over his leather-clad body.

"The flight path to Pennsylvania is full of storms. Flights are canceled, and there is no way to get there unless we wait for the flights to open up. It's cheaper than going all across America and catching different flights or buying return home tickets…" Matt explained, and glanced at Mello to see his reaction, slightly shaking.

Instead of bursting into flames of fury and blowing the whole place up, like Matt and Near had expected, Mello stayed perfectly calm, arms still crossed. He looked away, staring at nothing in particular, and nodded.

Matt and Near glanced at each other, wondering if either of them had secretly drugged Mello while he was sleeping.

"What?" Mello asked, catching their looks and frowned.

"Well, Mello, it's just…" Matt started, but Near cut him off.

"Mello, seeing as how you were so intent to see a silly factory where chocolate is made that you forced us two along on this ridiculous journey as well, this seems like it would anger you a lot. And the fact that we cannot go home either seems very misfortunate as well. We would like to know why you aren't blowing things up and swearing at everyone who gets in your way and blowing them up as well, because this is slightly unnerving, and quite a bit different from your personality. Please explain to us why you aren't blowing anything up." Near asked, twirling his white hair in his pale fingers.

Mello just stared at the albino for a few moments…and then shrugged.

"So, we've hit a small bump in our plans, big deal! It's Florida, we disserve a vacation. Why do we always have to follow rules and a set course? We get enough of that at Wammy's with Roger. It'd be nice to relax for awhile, is all. Is that so much to ask?" Mello replied simply, throwing out his right hand in a dramatic flourish.

Matt looked at the blonde with all seriousness. "Babes in bikinis?" He asked simply.

Mello swung around to look at his best friend, an evil grin only Mello could produce on his face. He laughed like the devil himself and replied, "Of course!"

The redhead sighed and shook his head, chuckling, "Ah, Mello, when will you ever learn? Didn't that kiss we shared have any effe-" But he was cut short by Mello.

"As a line, dammit!" He snapped, baring his fangs at the gamer.

00000

They stepped off of the plane to meet the blindingly hot sun.

Near flinched. Since when was the sun this bright? The last time he saw the sun, it had never been this…oh wait…When _was_ the last time he saw the sun? Near shook his head, knowing full well the only one out of the three of them that dared venture outside was Mello, who was currently basking in its warmth.

Meanwhile, Matt was just standing there, looking dazed and confused, and muttering strange words under his breath. He was shaking slightly, and he took a finger and pulled at his shirt collar. Why was it so hot out here, in this…this…strange world? Matt couldn't comprehend it at all. Did any of his game men show fear at being in reality? No, they were pixels; they couldn't feel things or have emotions. Besides, when did reality make sense anyway? Matt chuckled and shook his head, lost in thoughts of Halo and World of Warcraft, which made **perfect** sense.

"Here we are, boys! Bright and sunny Florida, home of…Sunshine! Haha! So, where should we go first, the beach? Maybe we should get our hotel room and then hit the beach?" Mello asked the two of them, putting his arm around Matt, who further thought Mello's line was getting curvier and curvier.

"Mello, you have no bathing suit. Do you plan to go in nude?" Matt asked, then, regretting already asking that to a now evil-looking Mello with an evil-looking grin on his face, he hurriedly finished, "No, no you're not. I refuse it, and we don't want to get arrested. I heard these passengers talking about a 'Long-John Surf Shop'…?"

Near rolled his eyes. "Ron John, Matt." He filled him in, knowing Matt was probably putting more attention into his video games than hearing gossip in the middle of the night.

"Ah…yeah, that's the one!" Matt exclaimed, raising his arm and pointing toward the sky.

"Off we go, then, lads! To the hotel, then Long-John Surf Shop!" Mello grinned, leading them through the airport and back outside again to rent a taxi cab.

"Ron-Jo-Oh, forget it…" Near sighed, being dragged along by Matt and Mello. _'Why me?'_

_00000_

"The Palms: Hotel & Spa? Mello, since when have you _eve_r went a **spa**?" Matt asked, locking the door behind them as they entered their hotel room.

"It's called a vacation, darling, you simply must get pampered! Besides, I want to look fabulous when we finally arrive at the beach!" Mello spoke in a fancy British accent, flopping himself onto the bed while Near quietly sat down on a chair, hoisted his leg up, and started curling his white hair in his pale fingers.

"I really think we should call L…" Near spoke after a few moments of nothing. Well, Matt was laughing in the background and saying something about Mello being more like a seriously curved line than a straight line, but still.

Silence. Even Matt stopped laughing for a few seconds. Then…

"You wouldn't dare!" Mello hissed at the albino. "We would get in so much trouble ("Like we aren't already." Matt whispered.) and I know he'll force us back home to Wammy's! If Roger hasn't called me on my cell phone yet, then I guess were perfectly fine! Besides, we seriously disserve a vacation! I hate being cooped up at Wammy's! It's so boring there, sitting around while L risks his life for the Kira case!"

"Mello, you kinda contradicted yourself there. L is risking his life in the Kira case while we mess around aimlessly in Florida? Yeah, Florida is just so much more dangerous than Kira." Matt replied sarcastically.

"Shut it, Matt. You know we disserve this vacation!" Mello snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, and pretended to pout.

"Epic pouting maneuver, Mells. Anyway, bickering won't get us anywhere. Let's just get dressed and put away our stuff. I'm sure we're gonna be here for a while. We might as well make this our home away from home and relax for a little bit, alright? Near…?" Matt sighed, glancing over at the albino, who was currently not paying any attention to anyone anymore.

His current attention was fixed at the window, his face pulled in an ever-so-slightly frown, which was quite an accomplishment for the emotionless and expressionless albino boy. _'Why…why me? What did I ever do to disserve this?'_ He thought and then snapped back into attention from his squabbling and pouting mood.

"Sure, fine…whatever. I just want to have done with this place and Pennsylvania and go back home, and then I can start putting my plan into action…Mello." Near replied simply, flicking a glance at the blonde, who shrieked and covered his face with his hands.

Matt blinked, eyes wide. That was probably the only time ever that Mello showed fear in what Near had said. What was so deadly that Near had concocted that would scare Mello like this?

The redhead sighed again, raising his right hand up to his cheek and closing his eyes for a few seconds. After counting to 10, he opened his eyes again to see that Mello had scooted to the far end of the bed, as far away as he could get from Near without getting off the bed and taking his eyes off of the albino.

"I still see your suitcases on the floor. Anyone care to start putting things away?"

"Like you're doing anything, a-asswhipe," Stuttered Mello, still glancing at Near and managing to look at Matt through the corner of his eyes at the same time. "But fine, whatever, just…keep that…that freaky twit away from me."

Mello hopped off the bed and ripped open his black and leather suitcase that was much bigger than Matt's or Near's suitcases. Matt immediately found out why his was so large.

"Hold all your makeup in there or something, Mello?" Matt asked, chuckling.

"Shut up! I just have my black nail polish, my black mascara, my leather, some gloves, some leather jackets in case it was cold in Pennsylvania, oh and then let's not forget my washing products, like my shampoo and conditioner!" Mello replied, rummaging around his suitcase and looking happy to see his things were in order.

"I knew it. This has officially proved your-" Matt burst into laughter only to be cut short by Mello.

"As. A. Line, Dammit!"

**(A/N: Yay! Another chapter! And it's actually long! Is it the end of the world? It must be. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this one. Plot twist! Was this okay? I wasn't sure about whether or not to do this, but in the end, I had some things in mind for them and I wanted the story to be longer than them just going to the factory and leaving. Boring! Right? Alas, there seems to be only a few a few Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series quotes this time. Horrible, considering Season 3 started on Wednesday…But if you squint, you'll find a few references! Anyway, please comment! I worked hard on this chapter!)**


	5. Of Florida, Swimsuits, and Sand

All was quiet at headquarters. L, Light, and the rest of the task force were busy with information regarding the Kira case. So far, no luck. Even L was getting frustrated, and would occasionally glance at Light to see if he had any other emotion on his face besides an irritated one, but Light refused to show him any such emotion besides looking extremely pissed.

'_What a good little actor he is, sitting there acting frustrated, when I know he's thinking he's outsmart us. Sitting there with smug, happy, and content thoughts…'_ L stared at Light for the nth time, his opinion already wavering toward Light possibly being Kira.

Suddenly, L was flung out of his thought process by Matsuda, who came running over to L, yelling something about a plane, Florida, and Mello…wait, what?

"Hey, Ryuzaki! Watari was out in the hallway and told me to give these to you! He says it's something about a plane trip, somebody in Florida, and these three boys: Matt, Mello, and Near…Do you know them? What's this about?" Matsuda shuffled through the papers and handed them to L.

L sighed, reading through them. Putting his thumb on his teeth, he groaned. "Yes…I know them. They're helping me with for the Kira case…And apparently they aren't doing a very good job."

Light overheard the commotion and stood up. Walking over to L and Matsuda, he leaned over L's shoulder and silently read the papers. "Who are they…?"

Picking up his cup of tea, (he's British, you know!) he sighed again. "I cannot tell you, just that they are helping me. And they are in big trouble right now. Now, go back to work. We need to find capture Kira…!"

00000

"Ron-Jon Surf Shop: Home of the expensive swimwear." Matt informed Mello, rolling his eyes. "I mean, seriously! Have you seen the cost of these swim trunks? It's insane!"

Mello sighed. "Matt, its Florida, dumbass. Everything here is insane. Nothing makes sense and this is a tourist area. Of course they'll raise the prices."

"Yes, but still…" Matt whined, but picked the dark blue swim trunks anyway. Looking around, he suddenly remembered something important.

"Hey, Mello? Where'd Near go?"

Mello froze for a second, and then went back to looking for something to wear, an evil smirk on his face. "Dunno. Who cares? It's just Near." He decided on getting the dark red and black swim trunks and turned to face Matt.

"Yes, but you were the one who gave him the car keys." Matt reminded him. They had rented a car from one of Matt's old friends a few days ago. Fat chance of that old friend getting the car back.

Mello groaned. "Dammit….Just…Fine, we'll look for him." Mello decided, but then Matt interrupted him.

"Hey, we forgot to pick out what he needs to wear to the beach. What do think we should-" But Matt was interrupted by Mello, who pointed at a swimsuit.

The swimsuit was a bright pink children's swimsuit, complete with a poofy skirt thing going on at the waist. A pattern of white flowers and polka-dots were covering the suit. It was perfect…

Yanking the suit off of the hanger, Mello started looking around for Near. He finally spotted him at the cash register, where he was sitting on the floor and looking very bored. Near glanced up as he saw Matt and Mello approach them and then pointed at the pink swimsuit.

"What's that for? Are you planning to wear that, Mello?" Near asked in a monotone voice.

"Shut up, albino freak. This one's for you! Hehehe…" Mello looked very proud of his ingenious idea, and Near was staring off into space.

"What's the matter, Near? I rather think this outfit would go very well on you. Pink and white match, don't they?" Snickering, Mello paid for the swimwear and glanced back at Near.

"I'm not wearing that, Mello. I'd rather not even go to the beach at all. You're not making we wear that." Near protested, narrowing his eyes every so slightly.

"Hmm. Ah well. We got it for you, so you're going to wear it!" Mello chuckled, glancing at Matt.

Matt just sighed. Why was Near always the one who was put through this kind of torture? Being forced to come with them, then being dressed as a goth, and then there was the lady on the plane…

"A-are you feeling sorry for him?" Mello whispered, glaring at Matt.

"No, I just-" Matt tried to explain, but was cut off by Mello…again.

"Well, then, stop looking at him with those sad, sympathetic eyes. This is a wonderful idea. The little albino freak…"

Near, on the other hand, just stood there, arms crossed over his chest, sighing. More hell he had to endure…

00000

"Yeah! So this is the beach! God, it's wonderful!" Mello screamed, his eyes bright. There was a smile on his face, and Matt laughed. The blonde was normally never this happy…at something good. Mello loved seeing things blow up, but they couldn't blow up the beach. L would certainly find out about that one…

Near was flat out pissed. Wearing his new swimsuit, he kept his head lowered and refused to talk to anyone. A lady had stopped to talk to them as they came prancing out of their hotel room and commented on Near's attire. Mello and Matt roared with laughter and Near silently uttered a swear word. The lady gave them a weird look and dashed away, not wanting to be a part of the strange group.

Now they were at the beach, and the sun was blaring down at them. It was all Matt could do to keep from melting. Boy was he glad they invented swimming suits. He would have died if he came here wearing his long-sleeved shirt, fluffy jacket, goggles…

"Hey, Matt, c'mere! Someone left a boogyboard here! Let's test it out!" Mello hollered. He was already halfway down the beach, standing near a small board. It looked like someone had shrunk a surfboard and made _that_.

Sighing, Matt rolled his eyes and chuckled, running over to the chocoholic.

Near simply walked over to find a good place to sit and waited for this hell to end, twirling his hair furiously in his hand. When would it end? It was only 12 in the afternoon. Who knew how long Florida kept their beaches open. But even then, Mello and Matt would find a way to stay here longer. He just knew it.

"Aww! You're so cute! What's your name?" Suddenly, a little girl was sitting next to him, peering over at him, a sweet smile on her face.

Near sighed, looking away. He muttered something that sounded like "go away", but the girl didn't hear him.

"I'm Near. Now go away…please…" Near told her, extremely uncomfortable.

The little girl tilted her head, so her face was inches from Near's. "Wanna play with me?"

"Aww! Look, Matt! Near already found a little girlfriend, and now they're kissing. So sweet…!" Mello hollered at Matt, a huge grin on his face.

'_I swear, when we get home, he is so going to get-'_ Near thought, but the little girl waved her hand in his face.

"Hey, do you wanna play or not?"

"No, I don't…" Near was about to snap at her, but looked up at her face. Sighing, he gave up. "Fine, what do you want to do?"

The girl clapped in pleasure, giggling. "Yay! I want to make a sandcastle!"

Near looked at the girl, a strange look coming on to his face. Did she say…sandcastle?

00000

Half an hour later, Near sat down, exhausted. A very proud look on his face, he glanced over at the little girl, whose eyes looked as if they could pop out any moment.

A sandcastle of pure awesomeness was standing in front of them. Almost 10 feet high, every single detail was put into it, from the sand doors that had little seashells as doorknobs, to the seashell windows with little swirls around them. The towers were perfectly sculpted, even more seashells adorning ever single tower. There was even a bridge connecting ever tower, with seashells covering it. As to how Near did this, no one knows. To this day, it is still a mystery.

Matt and Mello had watched the whole thing, but even they were shocked as to how Near accomplished this. All they could do was stand and stare, mouths agape.

"Not my best work, but it'll have to do…" Near brushed off his hands on his legs, and looked bored.

"Near, you little sh-" Mello whispered, but Matt swatted him.

"Little girl…" Matt pointed, and Mello flipped him off.

Meanwhile, the little girl was now squealing with joy, dancing around the sandcastle and occasionally coming up to hug Near, who would occasionally blush.

**(A/N: Ugh. This is horrible. I'm sorry. I know you were hoping for some epic chapter, but writers block is a bi-, I mean, horrible. I like the opening scene, though. I really wanted that. Like, seriously really wanted it. So I'm glad I really like the way it turned out. I wanted the previous crap with the disguise and stuff to make a little bit more sense, in case you didn't understand that bit, and just a chance for L, Light, and Matsuda to be in here. They might return, upon request. Anyway, enjoy the crap-fest. It's horrible. I apologies. Blame writers block and the Limey Man…you know who you are!)**


	6. Road Trip: Note

**Alas, dear readers, the time has finally come. I've decided to announce this, and I hope I don't get mobbed by angry fans. Road Trip is going to be 'discontinued'. This means that I will no longer be writing this. A good friend of mine will be writing it from now on, with some help and suggestions from me. Her name is poohxebony. You can find her on fanfiction. She is a wonderful author, and she has decided that she likes my awesomeness so much, that she plans to steal it for hers- I mean, she plans to pick up from where I left off, cause I'm lazy like that. Actually, to tell you the truth: I'm just not finding interest in it anymore. The last chapter was HORRIBLE. I know many said they liked it, but I bet you were just tryin' to be nice. Can't blame you, really. Anyway, I'll leave this story up on my account for about a week or two, and then I'll delete it. Hopefully by the time I delete it, the chapters previously written will be uploaded on poohxebony's account.**

**Enjoy, loves.**

**PoisonXLilly, out~!**


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